Burdens vs Loads Unlocking Depressing key

I heard a really great quote today:

The idea is that a load is the day-to-day challenges that occur quite naturally, ie., housework, schoolwork, parenting, connecting with people, what to eat for dinner, laundry, a date, being date-less, work, a flat tire…

A burden is the heaviness we carry around because of the consequences of someone else’s choices, a traumatic event that happened ten years ago, a not-so-good choice we made five years ago, a childhood experience that we interpreted as devastating…

Burdens make it extremely difficult to move in and out of daily life with hope and direction.  They literally create a “ball and chain” effect.

The good news is that we can hand our burdens to someone else by asking Him what to do with them.  Your Higher Power is waiting to carry your burdens so you can meet your load every day.

Depression and anxiety are tremendous burdens.  I have yet to meet a person whose depression and anxiety was not a result of childhood experiences, a traumatic event, or a barrage of lies fed by the dark side. Another piece of good news is that this burden can be released.  Hand it to your Higher Power.  Then ask Him what to do next.  You’ll hear something.  Maybe it will be to read a different post on this blog and follow the invitation.  Maybe it will be to find a counselor who will actually provide tools to help you pull out of the hole you are in.  Maybe it will be to write out all of your fears about actually healing from depression.  Maybe it will be to contact me.

Whatever it is, following through with the thought you have will mean you are ready to allow someone greater than yourself to carry your burden and make it possible for you to meet each days’ load…one day at a time.

It matters!


Parenting Hardship –Unlocking Depression Key

I had an experience last night in my parenting that validated something that I was pretty sure had been happening.  It brought up a lot of anger and frustration and the “if I was a better parent, this would not have happened…” belief.

I woke this morning knowing I had two choices:  to continue to fret and be angry by what I knew and to hope that eventually it would not be foremost on my mind–like has happened so many times before; or hit it head on and uncover the root to the belief and what it was doing to me.

I chose the latter because in 46 years I have had lots of experience holding onto beliefs that have caused resentment, frustration, anger, hiding–all of which fed nicely into the depression and anxiety I fought for 12 years.

And so I sat and began to write.  And through this process I learned how the belief “if I was a better parent this would not have happened” was personally creating chaos in me.  I learned that it has been providing a scapegoat for my children to hide when they make a mistake.  It was a way for them to blame me for their mistakes instead of owning them themselves and taking the steps to righting them.  I learned that I can apologize for my beliefs in this regard and move forward with the truth:  I am a good parent.  I recognize my mistakes and take responsibility.  I create a place of peace and truth with my children.  I honor my children as I allow them to take responsibility for their actions.

What beliefs are you holding onto that are creating chaos in your life?

Is it time to do something to address these beliefs?

It matters!

unlockingdepression@gmail.com  to schedule life coaching help to move from

chaos —>  order —>  creation

A Rift In Marriage and Choice

A few days before Thanksgiving my husband and I had a rift between us.  We were having a conversation and I got upset because of something he said that I knew was true–but it would mean that I would need to work some more on getting rid of a trigger point in our relationship.

My general mode in handling such conflict is to stonewall–go quiet and hold in my frustration or resentment or anger.  But this time I knew I could choose something different.  The challenge was wanting to!

I knew that the feelings I was having were hurting me and hurting my marriage.  I knew that I didn’t want these feelings.  And so I plowed through the embarrassment and stubbornness and took a walk into the hills.

I have a place I like to go when I’m feeling down and out.  There is a little stream there.  I sat down and started to talk.  I actually talked into my phone.  Usually I write out what I am feeling but that day it seemed better to talk it out.  As I was expressing myself, I glanced down into the stream (which didn’t have much water in it!) and saw the following sign:

This is evidence again to me that God has a sense of humor!  
It was just enough to almost make me chuckle:)…and then I watched myself not allow this possible setback to be a setback.  Instead, it became a way to RISE.  It has caused me to ponder on one of my beliefs–on one of my ways of being with my husband.  The pondering has led to working on eradicating it, using the weed and feed tool I talk about.  Unlocking depression requires RISING.
What will you do TODAY to RISE?
It matters!

Who Do You Want To Be?

Who do you want to be?  It may seem like a silly question.  It may seem like there is no hope of ever becoming who you want to be.

I invite you to draw a picture of yourself on a piece of paper and write words all around the picture that describe who you want to be.  Post it on your bathroom mirror.  Look at it every day.  Say the words.  Vision matters…

It matters!

My Heart is Weeping for Mental Health Sufferers

I have had some recent experiences that lead me to this post today.  I feel like crying because I know there are so many of you out there who are suffering with depression and/or anxiety.  I feel like crying because I know how hopeless and helpless the feeling is.  I know how exhausting it is pretend nothing is wrong when inside is a ball of chaos, of disbelief, of wondering why this is happening.

I know what it is like to have medication work for awhile and then either 1) it stops working, or 2) you wonder if you can escape the side effects of one medication by trying another.  I know what it feels like to think there is never going to be another option, that hopeless and unhappy are just going to be how it is or the benefits of medication are still worth the price of the side effects.

I know.  I’ve been there.  I heard the talk:  depression is a chemical imbalance.  It’s genetic.  The best way to deal with it is medication and therapy.  I heard it just today.  What I saw and heard left no hope for leaving depression in the dust.  It left no hope for overcoming.

My heart weeps for those who believe there is no other choice because I am living proof that there is another choice.  It’s a level 2 choice:  finding the roots to the illness.  Level 3 is learning what to do with the root causes.  Level 4 is actually doing something about it.  Level 5 is moving into healing.  I thoroughly enjoy coaching individuals who are ready to move to level 2.

Are you ready?  It matters–for you and for everyone you influence!