Almost a year ago I attended a class where the presenter was a woman who struggles mightily with depression. If I remember correctly, it hit her full force many years into her marriage. She told about times where it was so bad that she had to be admitted to psychiatric care at the local hospital.
She was speaking because she had figured out a way to manage the depression. She had figured out that exercise and learning something about controlling her mind were very helpful. I kept waiting for her to say how she had completely eradicated the monster from her life. Instead, the message was, “This is real. It is a problem. I have learned how to endure. My coping mechanisms are exercise and eating better and here is a pile of really good books that have helped.”
After the presentation, I introduced myself and told her that I, too, had fought the monster for 12 years and after much searching and learning, it was completely gone. That was all I had to say to know that she was not interested. She did not believe me. Her belief was what I had believed for so long:–there is no cure; there is no way out of this any more than there is a way out of cancer; this is just my “lot;” this is my test; I just need to endure it valiantly.
Enduring. Endurance. Endure. These words have new meaning for me. Words cannot even begin to describe how grateful I am for whatever it was that caused a shift in my mind in 2010 that said, “I wonder if there is a root cause that can be eradicated and bring healing…I wonder…” That one little thought created space for people, answers, and healing to come into my life.
Enduring…do you really need to endure this monster for the rest of your life or is there another answer? Has your endurance so far been enough? Is it time to be a strength to someone else because of the lessons you have learned in your journey? Is it time to look at why you endure?